perspectives.

2009-03-30T22:08:00.002+01:00

Wow, its been a while since I've written on here. Life's gotten busy lately. To update you on my life, I've got offers from Manchester and Kings College London to study English Language, starting in september of next year, after my gap year, which at the moment will hopefully be spent in sheffield.

Other good news: my brother got engaged, and Liverpool are pushing for the title in April for the first time in my lifetime.

2009-01-14T23:24:00.001Z

I'm rubbish at updating this. Anyway, got exams at the moment, not minding college too much at the moment but still very ready to finish in June. Looking forward to gap year, uni and beyond loads!

2008-12-22T13:05:00.002Z

This made me laugh, a true story from The spectator:

"In the north of England a boy was not allowed to attend his school's Christmas party because his parents had insisted, ever since he joined the school, that he should not be required to attend lessons in Religious Education. The school presumably thought that they were being scrupulous in abiding by the wishes of the parents - but apparently not. The boy's mum, a Ms Dawn Riddell, was incandescent at the 'cruelty' inflicted upon her poor son. Christmas parties, she said, have got 'absolutely nothing to do with Jesus'. I think that's one of my favourite quotes of this year or any year. And that's where we are now, too."

2008-11-28T22:12:00.002Z

The events in Mumbai have led me to ask the question, is "the war on terror" as it appears? Is it winnable? Is it even something we can have a say on? Or has it got to the stage where it is out of our hands, and the damage has already been done in terms of ideals and mindsets? I was watching the BBC earlier, and the reporter said the attack may have involved Al-Qaeda. Isn't that the case with all islamic extremism now? Al-Qaeda isn't really an effective organisation anymore, but it is here to stay; it is now a way of thinking. And the seeds have already been sown, starting the 80's with western money and training, being allowed to grow and mutate unchecked through the 90's, and culminating with 9/11. From this point of view, we can't really destroy an idea, this monster designed to be iconic, inspiring, and entralling to millions of muslims worldwide. The only place it has been contained has been through the awakening in iraq, and here merely by the dollar. In 10 years time we may well look back and say the west is fighting a war that it had lost before it had even started.

Just some thoughts.

2008-10-26T23:59:00.002Z

So, liverpool are top of the league. Admittedly its early days, but I am feeling confident this season. Obviously today was massive, beating Chelsea (first time they have lost at home since February 2004, 86 games) shows we are genuine contenders. What pleases me most is that we have beaten both them and Man Utd - who also dropped points this weekend - without Torres playing in either game, showing we have strength in depth. Also this year we are winning games that we would have drawn or lost this season, and I get the sense that our team finally has that championship mentalitiy. Its going to be a tight one this time round.

2008-10-12T01:02:00.001+01:00

Awesome song.

2008-09-15T14:58:00.002+01:00

So, its been a while since I wrote on here. I've been quite unmotivated as I'm rather sceptical if this ever gets read and if people are interested. Regardless, here I am. Aside from college I've been looking around universities lately, which has been interesting but a tad on the scary side - I feel like I'm growing up and stuff, whats going on there? Anyway, so far I have been to Sheffield and Leeds, and in the next few weeks I'm going to Manchester, Newcastle and Sheffield hallam.I'm going to be applying for Journalism at the two Sheffield uni's (hallam as my if I screw up majorly back up) and English Language everywhere else. I really liked Sheffield, the city looks really lively and everything is fairly close together. The student union looked fun aswell as good accomodation, and generally the uni had a good vibe about it. Leeds was similar, I know the city really well anyway, the only thing I didn't like was how spread out some of it is. Still, its cool to go and see where I might be ending up in a year or two. Exciting stuff.

2008-08-20T00:06:00.001+01:00

Deep inside me there's this burning that just won't let me go
You are my fire, You are my rightesnous, You are my rock and roll
I wish I could fit you down inside my chest, God
I wish that I could swallow you whole
I'd wrap you up in a blanket of my skin and you could call my body home

Cause I am a temple
I am temple
My body is a temple
I am a temple
I am a temple
I am a temple
My body is a temple
I am a temple
So what if I'm not worthy?
So what if I'm not worthy?
You have made me clean!

Well, I can't get over how quickly you recover the pieces of my heart as they shatter
Cause in your hands I am more than just a brand new man
And all my falling down now, well, it just don't matter

I am a temple
I am a temple
My body is a temple
I am a temple
I am a temple
I am a temple
My body is a temple
I am a temple
So what if I'm not worthy?
So what if I'm not worthy?
So what if I'm not worth?
You have made me clean

I am a temple by John Mark McMillan
_____________________________________

Great song, great lyrics.

Music City

2008-08-09T18:32:00.003+01:00

I'm home from Nashville now, here are a few photos I took - the rest are on facebook.

2008-07-26T16:29:00.001+01:00

I made it to america alright and Im having shedloads of fun. Went to see the dark knight yesterday - unreal! heath ledger has to get an oscar. Fact.

2008-07-01T15:57:00.002+01:00

Spain won, and I have to say they deserved it. They played the best football in the tournament and had good depth to their squad and strength throughout the team, kept their cool against Italy during penalties. Always nice to see a team not underachieving, I think England can learn from this. I thought the tournament was really good in general, I was expecting not to be interested without England involved and the majority of squads seemed to be lacking quality, but the games produced some great football and drama.

Players of the tournament

Senna (spain) Was immense at winning the ball and protecting the defence, and also was important in their build up play.

Asharvin (russia) impressive going forward, very creative and should be playing at the highest level. I expect to see him at a big club very soon.

Fabregas (spain) coped well with not being a regular starter initially, stayed humble when he could have easily grown frustrated, and earnt his place by the time of the final.

Disappointments of the tournemant

Italy and France were both terrible. I cant believe these two were in the world cup final 2 years ago, because they did not show up at all this time round.

Christiano Ronaldo had a shocker aswell. After his good season I expected at least one better than mediocre performance.

Finally, England not being there. Enough said.

2008-06-22T00:01:00.002+01:00

Ok, I feel like I need to tie up some loose ends from my last blog and make a couple of points that I think I didn't put across well. Firstly I think that some explanation needs to be given as to what the deal is. I think the best way to explain it as a way of connecting with God, not the only way. God works in many ways, and it is very rare to find everyone connecting with the same thing, as a result its stupid to say that you're a terrible person or whatever if you don't engage. I feel that what they are doing is good and has God at its heart, but also does need strong leadership to explain what I've said, otherwise there is a definite chance of alienating people. What matters is what happens in the heart, how it is manifested does not.

Crazy stuff.

2008-06-08T22:10:00.003+01:00

So yesterday I went down to sheffield (couple of hours drive away) to go to this meeting held by this team called Emerge. Basically they base their meetings on the idea that this is the time for the church to arise and show the kingdom of God through signs, wonders, miracles and love. I didn't really know what to expect from it, because they came to our church a few months back and while I got into it I didn't feel all that changed afterwards. Anyway, the people who do this are so annointed it is beyond belief...like you walk in, someone touches you and you just go mental, lose control of your body and stuff, like the spirit of God hits you big time. I spent a pretty large amount of time on the floor laughing my head off and stuff like that, it was all pretty intense. God showed me some powerful stuff, but in a kind of non-threatening way, like I was in this room full of people shouting and doing stuff that wouldn't look out of place in a mental asylum, but I felt totally at peace and completely calm. At one point three times I tried to stand up after being knocked to the floor and three times God put me back down, and just said that I need to stop trying to go it alone in stuff and start properly getting him involved in everything.

These guys have seen some crazy stuff, I will share a couple of stories I thought were great. Yesterday morning one person on the street in a wheelchair was healed. One of the guys had walked into a card shop a few days and there were all these women in there who suddenly started crying and hugging him; God had showed up bigstyle and all these people had been changed, the same thing happened a couple of years back when they went to a marktetplace which had 200 people in it in Uganda. Another guy had been over in Germany and had been transported back and forth from there to Wales several times by angels (so mental) and a girl had been told to go to her local church and shout wakey wakey, when she got there people were tending graves etc so she said it quietly, God said thats not enough so she shouted it, and an angel walked out of the front door yawning and saying "thanks for waking me up". With all this said, the thing about it which has really impacted me is that today I do feel like something has changed inside me, it feels like it is less of me and more of him.

2008-05-28T00:32:00.002+01:00

Can't beat a good halo session.

2008-05-09T22:56:00.002+01:00

"The biggest cause for atheism in society today is christianity, or more to the point, the people who follow it."

I heard that quote a few years ago and kind of took it with a pinch of salt. Over the last few weeks, I have realised just how true it rings to many people. If you ask alot of people why they have a dislike/disrespect Jesus and his teachings, most of the time people do not have a problem with what he said and what else is said in the bible, but they have a problem with christians taking things into their own hands and misrepresenting it. To be fair it is easily done, its kind of a natural reaction to put our own spin on things or whatever. My friend Ste said to me a few weeks back that basically we can do nothing to influence/witness to people on our own, and our job is to do as little damage as possible to what God is doing. So yeah, lets think before we speak/act/whatever, because it really can make the difference.

2008-04-19T18:58:00.002+01:00

Isn't it wierd how when you actually have to get some work done anything and everything distracts you? I ended up unplugging the internet for an hour or two yesterday just so I could get some work done. It was symbolic more than anything, but still it worked so no complaints.

PS. What's depressing is I spent a good half an hour figuring out how to word this instead of working. Ironic.

Sunday.

2008-04-13T23:49:00.002+01:00

“Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?”
”I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir.”

As I was watching the awesome film that is Forrest Gump the other night, these lines rang true to me. There are so many people that this is the case for, just look at your neighbours, your classmates, whoever. I’m tired of Christians (including myself sometimes) seeing or hearing about people in the world making choices that doesn’t tie into our set of values and then instantly judging them. Even if they know of Jesus, they still need to be reached out to and shown love, and not just alienated. If not, then what good are a dirty look and a shake of the head going to do? It’s so important to reach out. It doesn’t have to be a big deal if we make it natural to ourselves, as I’ve been finding out a lot lately.

The word “evangelism” can be unhelpful sometimes I think, as it gives the impression that its something that can be put in a box and pulled out for a mission trip, a gap year, whatever. Bringing the message to people should be something done through all our actions and words, and something we should strive to do. This is something I’ve really been struggling through since Christmas. It’s felt like I’ve been on a road to nowhere on occasions, and it’s so hard on a cold morning when you’re tired to make that effort to be friendly to people or whatever, but as I’ve learnt, it is so, so worth it. I encourage anyone who reads this to go out on a limb and really push on.

While we are on the subject, church was quite an interesting experience for me tonight. It was the first time I’ve been for a while, having been really busy with
Embassy lately (which is now my primary church over All Saint’s). While I took part in the service, I didn’t take in any of it. I was basically in an hour and a half long conversation with God for two thirds of the service. Basically he was saying to me that from now onwards will be like a sink or swim moment for me with him. I’m going to be pushed out of my comfort zone more than I already have been (see the first section of this post) and that from now on I will have to start making sacrifices and the like a lot more.

I was reminded of something Dave said quite a while back, who does God reach to? Those who cry out for him, those who are desperate for him. Over the last few days I have not done this. This has changed already. What made the experience weird for me was that it was a completely new feeling. Normally when I encounter God in such a big way I come away from it like a bundle of energy. This was different. I was completely chilled and relaxed. I think this was the sense that although things may get hard for me, God has it all mapped out and that I will come out the other side as a stronger person both in terms of my relationship with God and the way I live my life. Also it was nice to have a really long chat with him and actually spend a large amount of time in his presence…recently I’ve had loads of prophetic stuff from him, but haven’t really maintained my side of the partnership as it were, so tonight was an absolute blessing and something new to me. God is good.

Into the Semi's.

2008-04-08T22:58:00.005+01:00

What a game. It’s fair to say that I had no nerves left by the end of it, resigned to waiting for the final whistle. I’ve seen some great European nights at Anfield since Rafa has been in charge, getting wins against Juventus, Chelsea (twice), Barcelona…but this was phenomenal. Arsenal played their part, but it was all about Liverpool tonight. Even when Arsenal scored in the last 10 minutes and would have gone through, I had a strange feeling we would win. The penalty was a bit dubious, but overall I think we deserved it.

Chelsea in the semi-finals for the 3^rd time in 4 years, Bring it on. I have that name on the cup feeling I had in 2005.

2008-03-31T22:45:00.000+01:00

Scrubs is too good.

2008-02-26T22:29:00.003Z

How selfish are we at times, wrapped up in our own little "troubles"? when there's a world's worth of things that should have more of our thoughts, not least stuff that affects the people we know and love. I'm an absolute mess when it comes to stuff like this.

2008-02-13T22:27:00.002Z

I feel as though I really neglect this blog...if you've read this to find out about my life over the past few months, I apologise, cos you ain't got nufffin'. College is going well, if slightly hard work, I have next week off though which will be good, so I can chill and get some work done.

Good song.

So wrong.

2008-02-02T00:18:00.000Z

"More than 70 people have been killed by two bombs in Baghdad, attached to two mentally disabled women and detonated remotely, says a security official."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7221639.stm

I saw this on the news earlier, and I still cannot get my head round it. It just makes me sick to the stomach. I have had (and still do have) some sympathy towards the resistance movement in iraq, but this is not simply a case of resistance. This is just barbaric exploitation and murder. The standard suicide bombings are pretty rough, but the idea of using people who didn't realise what was happening is just downright depressing and makes one wonder what has become of our world. Sad times.

2008-01-03T22:21:00.000Z

Bonus.

PS. Its been far too long.

Rendition

2007-11-01T21:28:00.000Z

I really liked this film. For starters it was shot really well, and kept all the little subplots going at the same time really well. The main storyline itself was really good, and I can't help but feel more than a little bit true. Acting wise Reese Witherspoon was great, as was Meryl Streep; she made you really want to hate her character, which was the point. Gyllenhaal was good aswell, without being spectacular. Overall I found the film really engaging, probably the second best film i've seen this year after the bourne ultimatum.

Long Overdue

2007-10-22T00:24:00.000+01:00

Its been many a day since i've done one of these, definitely overdue. I've got this week off college, its half term, should be nice generally resting and reflecting on how things are going. Ive been ill, but i'm better now, which is good, as being ill is ass.

I've been reading sex god by rob bell, its a really really good book. Its made me think about relationships and our sexuality in a different light,and its amazing how it like impacts quite a few other areas of our lives. In fact, ive realised its actually stupid trying to apply something to just one area of our lives, to reflect on something and look at it from different perspectives can really bring it alive in ways you didn't think were possible. Fathership is another area I've been thinking about, and how so many things in peoples lives can be attributed to their earthly fathers obviously not being like the heavenly father, its often people who don't know what God is all about aswell, so to see that is very interesting.

Since my american friends (you know who you are) all posted about dumbledore being gay, I thought i'd give my opinion.I really do think that pretending homosexuality doesn't exist and trying to block it out of their lives, i.e in this case completely ignore it within the books, doesn't anyone any favours. Its not exactly encouraging it, after all harry potter is a secular book, so why not have a gay character. As far as im concerned a large amount of what is in harry potter reflects our current culture and their are deliberate parralells,so to have a gay character that isn't open probably rings true to alot of people. My only real issue is that it wasn't really needed; I mean, if it was in the books, what would come of it (no pun intended :P haha, sorry)? It would just go down some dodgey paths.

Anyways, im out. Laters

2007-09-17T19:18:00.000+01:00

the summer is definitely dying over here. Its cold. Its wet. Its dark. Its England nearly in winter. after 16 years, I still can't quite get my head round the idea of having daylight 'til 10 or 11 at night in June and then it getting dark at like 4 or 5 in the afternoon in December. Crazy.

Two weeks into college, things are going ok. The subjects I'm doing are so much better than when I did them only a few months ago, they seem to have a lot more depth to them. Its great how you can leave school at 16 here, cos I don't have any 'tards in any of my classes, which makes the time go quicker. That said, it is a big step up from school, way more work to do and a lot more independant learning required. As much as I'm enjoying it, I am already looking forward to finishing here. Has to be done, then the fun of uni etc kicks in.

I'm out.

2007-09-01T20:19:00.000+01:00

6-0, top of the league. C'mon!!

Stevie loves it!

Summer draws to a close

2007-08-30T00:02:00.000+01:00

It's been quite a while since I've done one of these; much has happened since the end of July.

Soul survivor. Good times. I wasn't sure quite what to expect this year, because as much I enjoyed last year, I thought that maybe it was one of those things that you enjoy once then it starts to get not so fun. Couldn't be more wrong. It was different this year, but I still cannot quite believe just how good the music was there - unbelievable. I definitely enjoyed the worship and used it as something to engage with God far more this year than last year. Didn't find the talks as engaging as I probably should have, but as cynical as it sounds, I've heard most of it before (still good stuff though). On the social side of things, there was much good banter all round, and from that point of view I enjoyed it just as much as last year. The only downside to the whole week was the weather, that was not so fun. Also, I've really struggled getting into worship back at church, It just not the same in my book (although I should make it).

So, my results. I'd be lying if I said I was nervous about them before, to be honest I knew I would have at least passed all apart from Art. I got 1 A*, 5 A's, 3 B's, 1 D (the D being art, surprise surprise lol). I'm very happy with them, only regrets being that doing full course R.E instead of the short course actually dragged my grade down from an A to a B, and I would have liked an A* in Geography, but an A will do).

College starts on Monday. I'm half looking forward to it, and half not. The positive is that it will be something different, I'll be studying subjects I have chosen to do only, so no more maths, french or science. I'm told its a really good laugh and good fun, so I have that to look forward to. The flipside is that I can no longer get up at mid-day and spend my days idly bumming around, and that I'll have to do far more work than I did for GCSEs. At the moment though, the positive thoughts are outwieghing the negatives.

Football. Hmm. I wasn't happy with the way things went for me personally at the end of last season; couldn't get a game for my life. I'm hoping though that this season things will be different. Fitness is improving all the time, first game is on saturday, looking forward to it. 8 out of our first 10 games are at home aswell, so hopefully we can play without bad weather so the pitches don't cut up.

So yeah, my summer is practically over. I cannot believe its been 10 weeks since my compulsary education ended. But it has been a very good summer (not in terms of weather). I can honestly say that I've enjoyed it as much as I could have with what I've done. Here comes the winter. Incidentally, to get slightly "deep", isn't ironic that we say that spring is when new life comes and new stuff starts etc, yet for many of us in the western world, autumn is actually when new phases in our life commence. Random.

Oh, and I'd be lying if I said I'm not already looking forward to next summer. Hehe.

France & New Wine.

2007-08-03T23:53:00.000+01:00

Its been nearly a week since i got home, and I've not really got round to doing this until now, so here goes.

France was good, alot better than I was expecting actually. I think its good to get away from all your friends for a bit every now and then and just to have a break from life in general. The region we were in was very nice, better than I was expecting. It took me a while to get my head round it being like really hot and humid at the foot of the mountains, while there was snow at the top. Anyway, we walked up one (mont lachat or something) which gave a really good view of mont blanc, and got a cable car to the top of another (Aiguille du Midi, 3842 m./12,605 ft apparently). At the top it was rediculous, the altitude meant we were out of breath after only a few steps. Was some really good views though, but guess which idiot forgot to take his camera. Yeah.

We also went into Italy for a day, which was alright. Seemed noticably hotter, despite being only on the other side of the mountains, but all the people there are complete nonces. All the dudes had their legs waxed and stuff, which, while hilarious if done for charity or something, isnt really that cool if you do it normally. Other than that, it wasn't really anything special. In summary, I took a load of pictures, so when I put them on Facebook, look at them, as they tell the story alot better than I can.

As for New Wine, I definitely enjoyed this more than I was expecting. The kids work was really good, and although the weather and early mornings sucked, it was still good. I think the balance of not having any friends around for 2 and a half weeks and then not having family around for a week worked quite well. My only issue with new wine was that there wasnt really anything there for me in terms of recieving, which is sort of understandable as its aimed at young families (I think).

In general then, a good time overall. Its good to be home though.

laters

2007-07-03T13:58:00.000+01:00

Off to france/new wine tomorrow, back on 28th I think, should be fun.

Church Rant and life.

2007-06-25T16:52:00.000+01:00

Ok, this has been coming for a while. I'm not pleased with whats been going down at church recently. To begin with, im so sick of all the bitching and backbiting that goes on at our church behind peoples backs. People are caught up in their own little worlds of power and spheres of influence, and fail to approach things in civilised ways, instead they act completely irrationally. This completely detracts from the focus of Church, which should be god. At the end of the day, so much time is wasted on silly little things, that it all adds up, and as far as i'm concerned, it has the potential to ruin churches.

Also, recently, not been impressed with the sermons. For a start, the passages and titles do not match up at all, and this is unhelpful as it often just leads to confusion. Also, its all well and good looking at a bible passage, but if there is nothing said on how we should apply it to life. At the minute, sermons are far too much like lectures, long, boring but without the learning part! I feel that we need to get real, and start doing practical teaching as apposed to just sitting there going "oh yeah, isn't that nice". I'm not saying I couldnt do a better job, because I probably couldn't, but thats not really an excuse to say that I shouldnt complain. It annoys me how stuff percieved as minor is freely dissed, but it seems taboo to have some constructive criticism towards the sermon. Time to change that? Yes.

However, One good thing has come out of the new format of services; youth discussion group after. Many people starting to come out of their shells and contribute, which can only be a good thing. Also, the worship has been top notch.

That was probably harsh on many, but had to be said.

Away from church, life is interesting. School is finished, done forever, sorted. Results day on 23rd of August, no idea what grades I'll get, anything from A* - C in all, apart from Art which i guarantee I have failed. College taster days tomorrow and wednesday, should be good banter. Prom tomorrow night, should be good, i'm lookin forward to it. Cricket season is in full flow, twenty20 is awesome, watching all the games that are on TV. Possibly off to France on the 4th of July, although thats doubtful due to family illness at the mo.

Exams and Life etc

2007-06-11T21:40:00.000+01:00

Not done this before, but here goes...

Exams, Exams, Exams....don't you just hate them? I'm 2/3 of the way through so far...10 done, 5 to go. The end is near. Not impressed with the school though...early morning revision sessions, that are compulsary. Get in. Arguably the best way to make you tired before an exam.

My life is pretty much on hold 'til the exams finish. And its rubbish. Me and God just hasn't been happening lately; I need to take some time away from everything once school is over, to reflect and plan and just get intimate with God again. I'm totally distant from him and myself, but in the last few days i've just been so aware that God is in everything, from waking me up and driving me on in the middle of my exams to being the all-consuming reality that is our creator.

Thats all for now I guess,

Tim.

PS. David Crowder band are immense!!